Walking, Running, Riding, and Restoring

I always try to find the good in things.  So, in the midst of all the stress with the things going on in my life lately, I've found increased motivation to get out to walk, run, and ride my bike.  Lots of good ways to restore my sanity, relieve some stress, and get healthy as a result.  A win, win, win!  

I always carry my cell phone with me.  And, being the picture taking fool that I am, a lot of pictures get taken along the way.  Here are a few from the past few weeks.  They're all from Instagram....that's why they have black frames on them.

My walking partner, Salsa...

We love going to the Santa Plateau in our local hills.  It's a beautiful place!  And, it's a great place to ride a mountain bike...

It's also a great place to go for a walk or hike.  Gorgeous!

I think I could sit on one of these benches all day!

There are seasonal pools of water there.  They call them "vernal pools".  They're currently looking quite beautiful!  I love the walkway that goes over them.  Sometimes they're filled with fairy shrimp, tadpoles, tiny frogs, and little snakes.  I love it when the pools are there!

My husband and I were mountain biking there last week and came around the corner and saw a pig!  It was out for a hike with it's family.  It seemed very happy.  It would stop to nibble some grass and then look up to see they were ahead and start running to catch up while it grunted softly.  Funny and cute!  I have to say....I've never seen that before!

It was about 70 degrees and sunny that day.  Beautiful!

I love all the big, old, oak trees up there!

I was up early yesterday morning.  I opened the blinds in our living room and the sun was streaming in.  Penelope was soaking it up and looked like she was meditating.  Good job, Penelope!  A good reminder of something I need to do more of....stop, close my eyes, take some deep breaths, and meditate!

Thank You!

I want to thank everyone who took the time to read my last post.  Especially to all those who took the time to leave such thoughtful, caring, and supportive comments!  You've helped me so much!  I've learned a lot and found out that many of us are going through or have gone through very similar situations.  I feel like I'm in a totally different place mentally and emotionally because of all of you!

I really struggled with whether or not to post last week about what I was dealing with.  I had no idea if anybody would be interested or or if I'd even hear from anyone.  It turns out that I didn't need to worry.  In fact, the response was amazing!  I'm stunned by how many people I've heard from and at how long and thoughtful the comments are.  I not only received comments on my blog and my Facebook post but I also through private messages on Facebook, emails, texts, phone calls, and people at my stitch group gathering who talked with me about it.  I've learned a lot and I feel more connected and supported more than ever before.  It's incredible!

It really lifted me up to have so many people tell me that they saw me as a positive, caring, and good person.  And, that they were surprised at what I'd been through as a child.  Hearing that others look at me in such a positive light helps to melt away some of that pain and slow down all those memories that tend to replay over and over in my head.  Thank you...thank you...thank you!

One thing I love the most about what's come from posting about my situation is how others are now feeling like they're not alone.  And, how many of us are now supporting one another through this chapter of our lives.  It really is surprising how many people had similar situations growing up and at how many are going through similar things to what I am now.  It's so much better going through these things together!  We will get through this!

One of the comments that touched me the most was a message on Facebook.  Her mother was unkind when this person was growing up and her mom only continues to get worse.  My post moved her to tears and she thanked me for putting into words what she'd felt her whole life.  Wow!  That's powerful!  I had no idea that my post could have done that but I'm so grateful that it did.

Again, thank you all so much for your love and support!  It means more than words can say!

Reaching Out

I've struggled with whether or not to post about this.  I've thought about it many times in the wee hours of the night when I can't sleep.  I've been encouraged by some sweet blog friends to post about it.   And, I've decided to go for it.  There are probably a lot of people out there struggling with similar situations.  Maybe, together, we can help each other out...even if it's just to know we're not alone.

I'm going to try to simplify as much as I can.  Bear with me as I struggle to figure out how to put this all into words that make sense.  It's hard to even figure out where to start.  Here it goes...

I guess I'll start with saying how my mom has never seemed to like me.  Throughout my entire life she's told me what 'she' thought was wrong with me.  That includes a lot of things that have never been true.  She's always been a negative person who looks for bad stuff.  Even good things in life can somehow appear to be bad things to her.  If she can't find a negative, she dreams it up.  I guess that's how it works.  I've never been able to understand.  

Thankfully, I've always seen that as a way NOT to be and it has caused me to strive to see the good in life, people, and situations.  She taught me a lot of things but I don't think she intended to teach me this.  It's turned out to be the biggest lesson, the biggest gift, and the biggest impact on my life.  And, even though I'll never have a mom that's proud of me (one of the things kids want most in life...to make their parents proud), I'm going to be ok...more than ok.

Lately, my mom's negativity towards me seems to be magnified.  Really magnified!  All she talks about is what a horrible person I am.  She's making up stories about how she thinks I'm stealing money from her, that I'm an alcoholic, that I'm trying to ruin her life, that I was a terrible child, etc., etc.  None of it is true!

Her mind is changing.  And, it's not in a good way.  We think there's something like dementia going on.  But, we're not sure.  My brother, our dad, and I took her to the doctor.  She failed one of the tests and was referred to gerontology and for further tests.  We lovingly explained that we care about her and that's why we brought it up and want her to be checked to see what's going on and what can be done.  After all, we'd want someone to love us enough to do the same thing.

I understand that it must be SO hard for her.  I want to be there for her.  To talk with her and love her and hug her and walk by her side as she deals with it.  But, she's become angry.  Very angry!  She got in the car a couple weeks ago to try to run away from the whole situation.  I guess that's what she was doing.  No one really knows where she was headed.  I like my mother-in-law's theory that my mom was trying to go back to how things used to be.  I know that's not a place but it makes perfect sense.  But, she was angry and yelling and we already know she's become an unsafe driver (I've seen her run a red light, weave in and out of her lane, cut people off, change lanes without looking and cause someone to swerve....I've filed a driver safety form with the department of motor vehicles for her to be tested).  So, we were scared!  I asked my brother-in-law who's a sheriff what to do when that was happening and he told me to call 911 and file a "Silver Alert".  I did.  Luckily, she got home safely.  

My brother and his family were heading over to visit as that was all happening.  But, she locked the doors and told my brother to "GO AWAY!".  After a while, she came out with her car keys and wanted to leave again.  My brother wasn't about to let her drive in that condition.  It wouldn't be safe!  She could hurt or kill herself or another person!  The situation became intense.  My dad was crying and my brother was having chest pains from the stress of it all.  Eventually my sister-in-law got her calmed down.  My brother later took mom's car key and told my dad.  He seemed supportive.  I'm sure that angered her when she found out.  But, it was the right thing to do.

Since then, we've become terrified of going over to our parent's house and the chance of that happening again.  So, we all go over there together.  But, sadly, even that backfires!  We had a nice visit the next weekend.  My dad enjoyed it very much and we enjoyed seeing him and my mom and that our time together went smoothly.  But....she's complained ever since.  She says that I "smiled and acted like nothing was wrong".  What did she want me to do?!  Bring it all up and provide the opportunity for her to escalate the situation again? NO WAY!  That won't help anyone or anything!  The conversation would have just gone in circles and upset everyone.  

My brother and I talk a lot these days.  Sometimes daily.  It's SO hard knowing what to do.  But, for right now, we're figuring that she is going through an anger and denial stage and that we're only going over there together....with my brother's sweet sons.  Because, in front of them, she's less likely to cause a scene.  We're hoping that in time she'll calm down and welcome our love and support

My poor dad.  He calls me when she's not around and tells me how hard this is for him and that he doesn't know how much longer he can stand it.  She's been repeating the same false and negative stories over and over and over.  She's so angry!  And, sometimes she cries.  If only she'd allow us to love her through it!  We've decided that all we can do right now is take it all a day at a time and deal with each thing as it comes up.

We're not sure what's wrong because she's refusing to go to the doctor.  Although, we have another appointment scheduled....fingers crossed we can get her there.  I've heard that a person with dementia can get mean, make up stories, and even pick one person that they take their frustration out on.  I seem the one that gets that role.  And, even though I've been told that she really does love me and that it's "mental illness" that's causing her to do and say these things, it's really hard.  I'm having to work very hard at finding ways to try to let it go and relieve my stress.  I'm so lucky to have such a supportive husband, daughter, brother, cousin, family, and friends!

Have you or do you know someone who's gone through something like this?  I'd appreciate hearing from you and hearing your stories about how you've dealt with it or are dealing with it.  I knew that the day would come that I'd need to help my aging parents but I never imagined something like this!

Fuzzy Bunny

A friend came over today and we got creative with acrylic paints.  It's something we both want to do more of but tend not to unless we make plans, get together, and sit down to paint together.  Funny how that works.  I guess there are just too many other things to do that distract us.

Here's what I painted today...

I'm really happy how it turned out.  I swirled on a pretty green paint for the background.  The swirls made for an interesting pattern and made it so I didn't need to do multiple coats of paint.  I love that and I love the effect!  The light green, however, makes it look Eastery or more juvenile/perfect for a kid's room.  I started out making the bunny several shades of white and just dabbing it on and swirling it a bit. I had no thought of trying to paint fur.  But, somehow, I just started painting fur and it magically worked out.  It totally transformed the look of the bunny into adorableness. I've always seen paintings of animals with fur and thought they looked realllllllly hard.  I think I've opened up my mind and the possibilities of what I might be able to do!  Wow!

Here's a closer look at that cute little face...   

Big Time De-Stashing

There's some big time de-stashing going on around here!  I went through my yarn bins a couple weeks ago and pulled out a lot of leftover yarn and full skeins that I've had for a while and didn't think I would use.  There was a big bag full when I was done.  Instead of letting it sit and later putting it back in the stash (like I did a few months ago), I took it to my stitch group meeting and gave it away.  Everyone seemed excited to get new-to-them yarns and it felt so good to lighten my load.  It was like taking things off my to-do list.  No longer are those yarns sitting in bins causing me to try to figure out good uses for them.  Now, I have a lot less yarn and only yarn I really love.

I've been doing quite a bit of yarn de-stashing over this past year by using it for projects.  I just finished up another one last week.  I had a skein of Wool Ease Thick and Quick left over from a scarf I made for my daughter a couple of years ago.  One skein is all I needed to make a matching hat.  I found a pattern on Ravelry that went well with the scarf.  It's a pay pattern but lots of Ravelers have put such detailed notes that I didn't even need to buy it.  I felt kind of bad but it was super easy and the directions were right there.  So, I used notes from several and made one.  It was easy and quick.

I sent off to my daughter last week and she loves it.  I knew she'd like it a little slouchy and it turned out to be just the right amount of slouch.  When she received it, it just happened to be cold enough to wear it that day.  She got lots of compliments.  That makes me really happy.

Have you been doing any de-stashing lately?  What have you made?  Or...have you done some drastic de-stashing like I have and gotten rid of lots of yarn all at once?

My Morning Walk

Salsa is such a great little walking partner!  Besides being extremely adorable, she's also very enthusiastic and always excited to go.  That turns out to be just the motivation I need on mornings that I'm considering the lazy alternative of not going.  She gets into the habit of it very quickly and almost expects it.  If I say the word, "walk", she bounces up and down with happiness.  Or, if she thinks I'm wearing some sort of clothing that looks like "walking" clothes or shoes, she gets excited about that too.  How could I let that precious girl down?! 

The trees surrounding our neighborhood are currently in an extreme bloom!  They must be really happy with the weather or something because I've never seen them bloom quite this much!  The ground, sidewalks, and gutters are covered in tiny yellow blossoms and pollen.  And, the trees are buzzing with bees.  Oh, and the air is very fragrant!  Luckily, it doesn't seem to bother my allergies.  Whew!

Garden Makeover

The drought in Southern California is serious and so is that monthly water bill!  So, we decided last year to give our backyard a makeover that would cut down on water usage and provide a way to grow some of our own food.  We turned the water off to the lawn (which seemed to have an unquenchable thirst for water) and removed it.  Then, we drew up a design for raised garden beds with benches around the top.  Hubby built four of them.  We stained and sealed them a dark brown to match our patio cover and to help make the wood last longer.  Hubby ran pipes to each one so we could later hook up drip lines.  We bought a LOT of pre-mixed garden soil from a local bulk supplier and moved it in several trailer loads and then lots and lots of wheelbarrow loads to the back yard to fill the beds.

Salsa did a great job of supervising...

  

Then came the fun part...planting.  We planted a tomato in the center of each bed and added little pyramid trellis' that hubby made.  I think they look really cute.

The benches around the sides work great to sit on and to set things down like plants, tools, seeds and even an ice cold beer!

It was fun to see the garden grow and take shape.  And, Salsa thought it was fun every time we went out to check on it and spend time in the yard. She runs around in a state of complete joy whenever we go out there.

It was so exciting every time we saw a baby squash or other food start growing!

We realized that gardening will take a lot of learning and practice as we didn't have the best of luck.  But, we did manage to grow a few things we could eat.  Radishes were one of the things we had a bit of success with...

Zucchini was our most successful crop.  In fact, at one point we had trouble keeping up with eating them as fast as they were growing.  And, they seemed to get large rather quickly.

We harvested a few tomatoes here and there through the summer and fall.  And, in the fall there were a few butternuts that we got to enjoy.  They were delicious!  The marigolds we planted to help keep some kinds of insects away did really well.  They were pretty all summer long.

I've always got herbs growing in my half wine barrels all year 'round.  They always do best during the summer though.  I love the flavors of fresh herbs!  They really bump the dishes we cook to a whole new level.

We had fun shopping at the garden center in the fall for new things to plant.  We got onions, garlic, beets, cabbage, and a couple new herbs.

Look, they're growing!  So exciting!

And, it's about time to plant some more things in our garden for spring and summer.

Oh, and the water bill?  It's a lot less since we took out all that grass!  Yay!

We still have more to do in order to finish the yard as a whole but we hope to make a lot of progress this spring.  I can't wait 'til it's done to see how it all turns out and to share pictures.  Stay tuned!

Moo!

While sorting through my photos from last year, I found picture of another fun, crafty project I did.  A whimsical cow painting.  Moo!

I've been pinning inspirational pictures into my Pinterest for painting ideas.  I found a cow similar to this that I fell in love with and I decided to give it a go.  He's a little crooked and wonky but so was the inspiration.  I think that's one of the things I like about it.  I know it's no work of art but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.  It makes me smile whenever I look at it.

Fun Little Projects from 2015

I'm still trying to get back to blogging regularly.  I've been dealing with some difficult challenges lately with my ill and aging parents that have caused me to push blogging to the side again but I realize that taking time to create posts and the wonderful interaction I have with those of you who stop by and comment can be very refreshing and help me through these tough times.  So, here goes another post...

Since I didn't blog for  most 2015, I want to try to catch up on some of the things that happened last year.  Here are some more yarny projects I did...

I made some pretty pillowcases for my daughter.  It was a fun project and the total cost of it was less than $5.  I got a pair of king size pillow cases at Ross for about $5.  I simply cut them down to standard size and stitched them up.  I crocheted trim with white crochet thread that I had in my stash.  After crocheting two strips to size, I pinned them into place, and sewed them on with my sewing machine.  I like how they turned.  The project was so fun and rewarding that I've bought more pillow case sets and plan to make more.

I crocheted this cute little owl as part of a gift for my daughter for Easter.  It was a quick project that used bits of cotton yarn leftovers from my stash.  Yay!  I'm always happy to make something from supplies I have.  I've been in a major de-stashing phase this past year and every little bit makes me happy.  I did need to buy buttons for this project though as I didn't have any white ones in the right size.  Amazing since I have a pretty big stash of buttons!  My daughter loved the little owl.

I knitted up a towel using the "Basket Rib Hand Towel" pattern that I found on Ravelry.  I used "Pink Camo" Sugar 'n Cream yarn as my daughter loves pink and camo.  She found a great use for the towel.  She places it under her dish drainer that doesn't have a tray.  It works great!  It catches the water but dries quickly because of all the texture in the towel.  I had originally made one for me to use for drying hand washed dishes.  I used one 95 yard ball of yarn for this one.

I loved how my daughter was using her towel and my dish drainer was so old and not in the best shape.  So, I bought myself a nice one at Ikea that doesn't have a tray and made a towel for mine.  I love it!  I made this one a bit bigger to fit my large dish drainer.  I used almost three full skeins of Hobby Lobby Crafter's Secret Cotton...about 350 yards or so.  I love the colors in this yarn!

The towel must be fun to make because I soon found myself making another one!

Of course, there were a few wash/dish cloths made along the way.  I love making and using these.  And, they're a great excuse to use Sugar 'n Cream in it's many pretty colors!

One of my knit friends loves purple and I have some pretty, light purple, cotton, carpet warp in my stash.  So, I made her a tiny little bunting for her birthday...

 

 And, when she had our stitch group over for a lovely waffle breakfast, I made her a little hostess gift with the same yarn...a lacy candle holder.  I got inspiration on Ravelry and Pinterest, found an empty jar, and crocheted a little cover.  I put a little tea candle inside.

When I posted the light purple candle holder on my Instagram, another friend saw it and fell in love.  So, I made a white one for her for Christmas.  And, yup...more de-stashing!  Yay!  And, I love how it turned out!  She did too.

My camera stopped working well over a year ago and I ended up taking just about all of my pictures this past year with my cell phone.  That's one of the reasons I stopped blogging too.  The quality just isn't that great in comparison and the only way I've found to upload and save and use them is troublesome.  I've been searching through the mess of camera photos, trying to find things I'd like to blog about and catch up on, grouping them, and creating posts.  Luckily and very happily, hubby bought me a new, fancy, dancy camera for my birthday about a week ago.  So, better quality pictures will soon be on the blog.  In the meantime, thanks for putting up with these not-so-clear photos.

Have magnificent Monday everyone!  Thanks for stopping by!  :-D

Chunky, Crochet Throws

This feels a bit odd to be creating a blog post!  It's been so long since I did that!  I was a bit burned out on blogging and stopped posting early last year.  Then, life got crazy busy with going back to work for a while, my daughter graduating from college (with two bachelor degrees...I'm so proud of her!), moving my daughter to another state for grad school, and lots and lots of busy-ness!  I'm attempting a come back.  It's a little hard to decide where to start.  So, I'll start with a post about some fun projects I did this last year...

I found a pattern on Ravelry that I just couldn't get out of my mind.  It looked like a lot of fun to make.  It also looked quick....which was part of the fun!  The pattern is the "5 1/2 Hour Throw" and you can find it free on Ravelry.  It requires three strands of yarn and a size "Q" crochet hook.

I thought it would look nice with three different kinds of yarn...a yarn that has some variation of color and some airy softness/fuzziness (I used about four skeins of Homespun), a solid with a bit of sheen (I used just over two skeins of Simply Soft), and a solid that has more of a mat finish (I used about two skeins of Red Heart Super Saver Solids).  I used about 750 yards of each kind of yarn. 

I made this one for my daughter.  I love how it turned out and it looks great with her green chair and all the other colors she uses to decorate her apartment.  Best of all....she loves it! The colors are beautiful in person!

I made this one for our house and was able to de-stash by using some leftover yarn from a blanket I finished knitting last year.   

These chunky throws are warm and cozy despite all the holes and they're super soft and cozy!  Just ask Penelope....she thinks I made this one just for her!  She lays on it a lot.

This pattern is so fun, easy, and quick that it's a bit addicting.  I made a third one for a wedding gift.  I was told the couple likes blue.  I had a hard time finding a blue I liked as Homespun doesn't seem to have a big selection of blues.  Some looked like 80's/90's "country blue".  I didn't think that would be a good idea. I ended up with this combination.  It turned out pretty and I think they like it.

The chunky hook and three strands of yarn make for a quick project.  Each throw took a week or less to make.

I would love to make another chunky throw but I have so many blankets right now and I'm not sure I know anyone who needs one.  But, if I find a reason to make another one, I'm sure there won't be much hesitation!  ;-)